


Are You, Frank?

by Emeli_Thorne



Series: Remain Nameless [1]
Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Frank has a dirty mind, and Karen gets too flustered talking about Frank's junk, frank wants to break something, inspired by Micro, karen has wet dreams feat. frank, micro's having a blast at frank's expense, shameful thoughts, the moose fic, this fic is also known as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 02:57:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12925854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emeli_Thorne/pseuds/Emeli_Thorne
Summary: “He even thought I was in love with his wife Sarah, or some shit. Said he was hung like a moose, that idiot, like we’re in some sort of fucked up competition.”“Are you?” Karen asks him somewhat shyly...





	Are You, Frank?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Micro's "I'm hung like a moose" comment and my mind wondering how Karen would react if Frank told her this and if some misunderstanding between them ensued. I laughed for an hour before I decided to write it down.  
> originally posted on my tumblr http://the-mimi-hiddleston.tumblr.com/post/168216498959

Frank and Karen are sitting in a diner a few blocks from her apartment, a week or two after he finally took care of everyone responsible for his family’s death. Frank is telling her about Micro and the Liebermans over a cup of coffee and some pancakes and Karen seems more than entertained by their roommate shenanigans when Frank blurts out, as a joke,

“He even thought I was in love with his wife Sarah, or some shit. Said he was hung like a moose, that idiot, like we’re in some sort of fucked up competition.”

“Are you?” Karen asks him somewhat shyly and - bam!

There’s coffee spitting out of his mouth, some of it going down the wrong pipe so he ends up almost  _choking_  on fucking  _coffee_ , the heat’s hitting his face making him feel like he’s on fire, eyes bulging at Karen before she hurries to correct herself, seeming just as mortified as he, waving frantically with her hands,

“I-I meant about his wife! No-not about you being hung like a moose too!”

And she just keeps vomiting words, trying to undo everything but to no avail because she just painted a picture of butt naked Frank Castle hung like a moose in her head and that’s not going anywhere because she can’t bleach her mind like she can bleach her damn mouth and tongue for going off like that and it’s Frank’s fucking fault too for even going there in the first place, assuming  _that’s_ what she meant and not something else entirely and purely innocent and she just prays for the ground to open and swallow her whole because she won’t be able to look Frank in the eye ever again in her life nor speak a word to him.

Meanwhile Frank is silent but looks like someone just punched him in the gut and he’s holding back, unmoving, eyes fixed on Karen’s flushed cheeks because to him it sounded like she was teasing him, testing to see his reaction and he’s frozen there like a statue because fuck, that’s  _not_  what she meant,  _Frank_! not at all, there was nothing even remotely sexual in her question yet your mind immediately went there, you fucked up, son of a bitch! just ‘cause you’re hung up on her doesn’t mean she’s hung up on you, doesn’t mean she sees you in that light, and this is an innocent conversation that took some royally fucked up turn and his lips don’t seem to be able to move and he just stares at her as she digs herself in an even deeper hole and is dragging him down with her and he wants her to stop talking because he doesn’t think he can look her in the eye ever again or speak a word to her.

Karen finally stops talking, their eyes meet for a split second before both start making up excuses and rushing out of the diner like their asses were on fire.

They don’t meet, don’t talk, don’t see each other for a month after that.

In the meantime, Karen wakes up hot and bothered every night from her very vivid dreams of Frank Castle and curses her damn mouth and his dirty (yeah,Frank! dirty)mind for the mess they are now in.

Micro has an honest-to-god, belly cramp-inducing, hour-long laugh when Frank eventually tells him why he hasn’t talked to Karen in a month.

“So, are you, hung like a moose?” Micro asks him in between laughs at which point Frank gets up from the chair ready to bash his head against the table. The asshole doesn’t look intimidated at all and just continues laughing.


End file.
